只有更扯没有最扯 2016脑洞最大的十个阴谋论

共惜年月

只有更扯没有最扯 2016脑洞最大的十个阴谋论

The Earth is flat, Trump is a Democrat … and other great conspiracy theories of 2016

英国脱欧、美国大选、政坛文艺界多位名流相继去世，2016年注定是不平凡的一年。而这些热闹喧嚣似乎成了网友们最好的开脑洞素材：霉霉成了撒旦信徒，古巴领导人卡斯特罗其实是加拿大总理特鲁多的父亲，希拉里开始组织儿童卖淫，最扯的是特朗普竟然成了民主党安插的间谍。来来来，一起围观本年度脑洞最大的十大阴谋论吧。以下说法，纯属捏造，如果属实，小编也是呵呵了~

If 2016 was the year facts didn't matter, when Oxford Dictionaries declared we went "post-truth", it makes sense that conspiracy theories flourished. These are some of the most outlandish (and, we feel fairly confident in saying, all untrue).
2016年，牛津字典宣布我们进入了"后真相"时代，如果今年是事实无关紧要的一年，那么阴谋论如此猖獗也就顺理成章了。以下是一些最荒诞的阴谋论（我们非常确信地说，这些都是假的）。

1. The Earth is flat
地球是平的

You might think that this one was put pretty conclusively to bed around 330BC, but it persists into 2016, championed by the radio-friendly rapper B.o.B.
你可能认为这个说法大约在公元前330年非常令人信服，但是在2016年仍有人坚信这一说法，为首的就是电台饶舌歌手B.o.B.。

The Atlanta musician resurrected the argument that the Earth may, in fact, be flat with a storm of tweets in January that seemed to lean heavily on the fact the horizon appears straight in photos ("where is the curve? please explain this").
今年1月份，来自亚特兰大的音乐人B.o.B.连发数条推特，重新提出地球可能是平的，主要的论据就是照片中的地平线看起来是直的。（"弧线在哪里？请解释一下"）。

Neil deGrasse Tyson's public putdown prompted B.o.B. to release a diss track, which was not very good, but did show how far the bar has fallen when it comes to prompting diss tracks these days.
奈尔•德葛拉司•泰森（天体物理学家）的公开羞辱促使B.o.B.发了一首辱骂的曲子，虽然歌曲不怎么样，但却说明为了宣传这首歌能多没有底限。

That was about the last time anyone spoke of B.o.B. in 2016.
这是2016年人们最后一次谈论到B.o.B.。

2. Taylor Swift is a satanist
泰勒•斯威夫特是撒旦信徒

Taylor Swift's similarity to the daughter of Anton Lavey, the founder of the Church of Satan, delighted social media this year, coinciding as it did with the pop star's "downfall".
泰勒•斯威夫特和撒旦教会创始人安顿•拉维的女儿长相相似，这成了今年社交媒体上的乐子，当时正是泰勒"声明狼藉"的时候。

这里所谓的声名狼藉是指霉霉今年因为几场撕x人设彻底坍塌。故事要从侃爷的一首歌开始。今年2月侃爷发布了新歌《Famous》，在这首歌中，他未经许可暴露了霉霉的肉体（后证实是人体蜡像），还用歌词意淫辱骂霉霉：我觉得我跟霉霉还是有机会来一发，为什么？因为是我让那个x子出名的！（I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, Why? I made that bitch famous.）

霉霉以该曲"极其歧视女性"为由掀起骂战。并在2月的格莱美颁奖礼上含沙射影讽刺侃爷。但侃爷坚称事先就和霉霉沟通过。

金大姐也力挺丈夫，表示此前侃爷曾致电霉霉征得同意。自己始终不贴出通话视频，是因为霉霉发了律师函要求他们"不准公开视频。"

7月17日，金大姐终于在Snapchat上公布了传说中的通话视频。这段证据似乎证明，事情并非霉霉所说的那样，其实她是知！情！的！

无独有偶，同一时间，霉霉遭前男友卡受（Calvin Harris）推特轰炸斥其炒作。据外媒报道，卡受和蕾哈娜合作的新歌原本是霉霉写给他的，这样的行为是对霉霉的不尊重，两个人也因此选择了分手！

这些报道让卡受怒了，他连发数条推特否认该说法，并炮轰霉霉和媒体。

几场年度撕x让吃瓜群众们大呼过瘾，霉霉的人设也因此彻底崩塌，她被许多网友称为蛇蝎，其推特也被蛇的表情符号占领。

不过，虽然霉霉和撒旦教会创始人之女惊人的相似，但这显然是落井下石的阴谋论。

3. Katy Perry is JonBenét Ramsey
水果姐是乔恩贝尼•拉姆齐

This theory dates back to 2014 but resurfaced this year alongside a CBS documentary about the girl's murder.
这个阴谋论起源于2014年，但今年因为CBS关于一个女孩儿被谋杀的纪录片而重新浮出水面。

In a video posted to YouTube, a truther refers persistently to "the Katy Perry character" ("You can see that that's just an older JonBenét Ramsey, right? You can see that") and puts forward the physical similarity between the two sets of parents as evidence ("same people").
在一段油管视频中，一个"揭露真相的人"不断提到"水果姐的特征"（"你看，她就是成人版的乔恩贝尼•拉姆齐，对吗？你能看出来。），还指出了两人的父母之间的生理相似性作为她们是同一人的证据。

He then laboriously – and not entirely successfully, on a technical level - morphs Perry's face with Ramsey's.
他还煞费苦心的将拉姆齐的脸变形为水果姐的脸，但从技术层面上看并没有完全成功。

Never mind that Perry, born in 1984, would have been 12 when Ramsey died aged six in 1996. Other YouTubers taking up the theory have pointed out that, in photos, their eyebrows look similar.
更别提水果姐是1984年出生的，而1996年拉姆齐于6岁去世的时候她应该已经12岁了。其他认同这个说法的油管用户指出，在照片中的她们眉毛很相似。

乔恩贝尼•拉姆齐是一名选美小皇后。1996年圣诞前夕，年仅6岁的拉姆齐在家失踪，不久之后被发现死在自家的地窖里，被捆绑且有血迹。

4. Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer
泰德•克鲁兹是十二宫杀手

The theory – meme, joke, whatever – that the aspiring Republican presidential candidate was, in fact, the unknown killer operating in northern California in the late 1960s and early 1970s was inescapable on social media earlier this year, and eventually made its way into the real world.
有志成为共和党总统候选人的泰德•克鲁兹实际上是上世纪60年代末及70年代初在加利福尼亚北部行凶的一名神秘杀手（呵呵，这就是个玩笑），今年年初，社交媒体上遍布着这种说法，并最终真的让人相信了。

In February a poll of 1,012 registered voters found 38% of Florida voters thought it was possible Cruz was the Zodiac killer.
今年2月，一项对1012名登记选民进行的民意调查发现，38%的佛罗里达州选民认为克鲁兹可能是十二宫杀手。

"But not all of the evidence adds up," BuzzFeed noted astutely: Cruz was born in Canada in 1970. The earliest confirmed victims of the Zodiac killer were murdered in 1968.
BuzzFeed机智地发现："所有的证据凑在一起并不能导出这个结论，克鲁兹于1970年出生在加拿大。而最早被确认的十二宫杀手受害者是在1968年遇害的。

十二宫杀手是一名于60年代晚期在美国加州北部犯下多起凶案的连环杀人犯。目前已知，十二宫杀手于1968年12月至1969年10月期间在本尼西亚、瓦里荷、伯耶萨湖和旧金山杀害五人。目标是介于16岁至29岁的四名男性和三名女性。此外也有一些其他的凶杀案被认为可能是黄道带杀手所为，但并没有决定性的证据。

5. Kylie Jenner is secretly fronting a pop band
凯莉•詹娜秘密担任一支流行乐队的主唱

The singer of the US pop trio Terror Jr is known only by the alias Lisa Terror, and hides her face behind her hair in promotional images. The only account the band follows on Twitter is that of Kylie Jenner: the teenage socialite/makeup mogul, a Kardashian by any other name.
凯莉•詹娜是美国三人流行组合Terror Jr的成员，她以别名丽莎•泰尔示人。她还在宣传造型中用头发遮住脸。Terror Jr在推特上唯一关注的账号就是凯莉•詹娜：年纪轻轻的社交名媛，化妆达人，卡戴珊家族的一员。

In March, Jenner featured a song by Terror Jr in a promotional video for her lip glosses; that same day, Terror Jr launched its social media presences. (As far as conspiracy theories go, this one is admittedly low stakes.)
今年3月，詹娜出现在Terror Jr宣传视频的一首歌曲中，为其唇膏做宣传。同一天，Terror Jr出现在社交媒体上。（就阴谋论而言，这算是低级别的。）

Jenner has denied being Lisa Terror on Snapchat, but then came the smoking gun: a Twitter user apparently found her listed as a performer on the track 3 Strikes by a music licensing organisation.
詹娜在Snapchat上否认自己是丽莎•泰尔，但随后又出现了一个铁证：一名推特用户发现她被一家音乐专利授权机构列为《3 Strikes》的表演者。

The entry has since been amended, and when Teen Vogue put the theory to the band, it replied only with its trademark grape emoji. But let's be honest, it's not like a Kardashian to shy from the spotlight.
这一登记事后被人修改，当《Teen Vogue》将这则阴谋论告诉Terror Jr乐队时，Terror Jr只回复了一个他们标志性的葡萄表情符号。不过，说实在的，对聚光灯感到害羞可不是卡戴珊家族成员的风格。

共惜年月

6. Fidel Castro is Justin Trudeau's dad
菲德尔•卡斯特罗是贾斯汀•特鲁多的爸爸

This theory emerged on Reddit after the Canadian prime minister raised eyebrows with his obituary for the "remarkable leader" on Twitter.
加拿大总理特鲁多发推特悼念"卓越的领导人"卡斯特罗，让众人惊讶。随后，红迪网上出现了这则阴谋论。

User George_Rockwell said Trudeau's parents had visited Cuba "on several occasions", pointing to a photograph of Margaret Trudeau "happily allowing the tyrant to hold her four-month-old baby" as evidence. (The baby was, in fact, Justin's late brother Michel. Details, details.)
红迪网用户乔治•罗克韦尔称，特鲁多的父母已经"数次"前往古巴，他给出的证据是一张玛格丽特•特鲁多"开心地让卡斯特罗抱着她四个月大的婴儿"的照片。（事实上，照片中的婴儿是特鲁多已故的弟弟米歇尔。细节，注意细节。）

The Redditer also remarked on the "similar appearance" between the Canadian prime minister and the now-deceased Cuban leader, with a photograph morphing their two faces presented as "DAMNING EVIDENCE".
罗克韦尔还指出了特鲁多和卡斯特罗的"相似外貌"，他将一张将两人的脸拼贴在一起的照片称为"铁证"。

Trudeau subsequently defended his initial remarks on the "passing of a former head of state" but did not say whether or not he was his father.
随后，特鲁多为自己对"卡斯特罗的去世"的最初评论做了辩护，但并没有说明卡斯特罗是否是他的父亲。

特鲁多与卡斯特罗的交情要从其父老特鲁多说起。1976年，时任加拿大总理的皮埃尔•特鲁多出访古巴，成为首位到访古巴的北约成员国领袖，老特鲁多与卡斯特罗因此建立交情。2000年老特鲁多离世时，卡斯特罗亲临加国出席丧礼，而且担任荣誉护柩者。

卡斯特罗去世后，特鲁多公开了一段真挚的悼词，但没成想却因此引发了巨大争议，而他本人也被推上风口浪尖，招来加拿大政客、媒体及网友一片口诛笔伐。

社交媒体也迅速发酵。推特话题#特鲁多溢美之词（#trudeaueulogies）也上了热门。反对者模仿特鲁多句式，恶搞各种"反派人物"，包括本•拉登、罗伯斯庇尔以及虚拟人物伏地魔、黑武士等。

7. Hillary Clinton is dead and was replaced by a surrogate
希拉里已经去世，取而代之的是其替身

The theory that Hillary Clinton had died was the logical extension of rumours of her ill health, and beloved by her detractors during the US election campaign.
希拉里去世的阴谋论其实是人们对其健康欠佳的"合理脑洞"，这一说法在美国大选期间深受其诋毁者的青睐。

YouTube user "Confederate Marshell" presented "100% PROOF" that Clinton had been dead since at least 11 September this year and replaced by CGI and multiple body doubles.
油管用户"Confederate Marshell"拿出了"100%的证据"证明希拉里最晚已于今年9月11日去世，取而代之的是电脑特效和多个替身。

今年9月11日，希拉里在纪念9•11袭击15周年的活动上提前离席。据网上曝光的视频显示，她在上车前突然失去"自我控制"，双膝发软，需要他人搀扶。

希拉里随后前往女儿家休整，几小时后，她又重新出现在公众视野中。尽管希拉里想显示她并无大碍，但关于她健康问题的质疑却愈演愈烈……

#HillarysBodyDouble希拉里替身成为了推特的热门话题，网友们纷纷变成福尔摩斯，给出了各种"证据"证明希拉里在使用替身。

"关于希拉里用替身的传闻有可能是真的！注意到希拉里在进去和出来时的鼻子和头发发生了微妙的变化了吗？"

"希拉里的食指比无名指长，所以这个女的绝对不是她！"

8. Hillary Clinton is running a child abuse ring from a pizza restaurant
希拉里在一家比萨饼店组织虐童团伙

You might want to be sitting down for this one: the Democratic presidential candidate and her campaign chief John Podesta are running a child sex ring from the backroom of the Comet Ping Pong restaurant in Washington.
你可能想听听这个阴谋论是什么回事儿：民主党总统候选人与其竞选负责人约翰•波德斯塔在华盛顿彗星乒乓餐厅的后院经营着一个儿童卖淫组织。

Given that the fact the restaurant has the same initials as "child pornography" is put forward as evidence by believers, the truly shocking detail of this completely baseless conspiracy theory is that even one person believed it.
他们给出的证据是这家餐厅的首字母与"儿童色情"的首字母相同，这就是一个完全没有根据的阴谋论，但是真正令人震惊的是居然有人信以为真。

Yet in early December, a 28-year-old man was driven to "self-investigate" the reports, wielding an assault rifle at a employee and firing it inside the restaurant. After his arrest Edgar Welch said he "wanted to do some good and went about it the wrong way". "I regret how I handled the situation," he added.
12月初，一名28岁的男子埃德加•韦尔奇忍不住"私自调查"起这个阴谋论，他对一名员工挥舞着突击步枪，并在店内开火。被捕后他称"自己是好心办坏事"。他还表示"对于自己的处理方式非常后悔" 。

9. Climate change is a hoax engineered by China, or maybe the UN
气候变化是中国或联合国制造的骗局

The president-elect of the US seems to subscribe to this one.
美国侯任总统特朗普似乎赞同这一说法。

In 2012 Donald Trump tweeted that global warming "was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive".
特朗普2012年发推特称，全球变暖是"中国为了让美国制造业变得没有竞争力而捏造出来的。"

He later said this was a "joke". If so, China didn't seem to think it very funny.
他后来表示，那只是一个"玩笑"。如果是这样的话，中国似乎不认为这很好笑。

In Australia Senator Malcolm Roberts has suggested that climate change is in fact the work of the United Nations and called for an "Aus-exit".
澳大利亚参议员马尔科姆•罗伯茨认为，气候变化实际上是联合国制造出来的，并呼吁"澳大利亚退出气候合作"。

10. Donald Trump is a Democratic party plant
唐纳德•特朗普是民主党的间谍

This one, at least, we can safely disprove.
至少，我们可以放心的反驳这则阴谋论。

说特朗普是民主党派来的间谍是因为，在初选期间特朗普常常语出惊人，给共和党丢下一堆烂摊子。另一个重要原因是特朗普曾经是民主党人士。从2001年8月到2009年9月，特朗普一直将自己注册为民主党。他自己也承认这是事实。

英文来源：卫报
翻译：董静(中国日报网)