恋爱情商：爱情中一定要做和绝不能做的事

雪白的雪

　　As a psychologist and relationship counselor for over 25 years, I speak from experience when I say there's more to the art of love than we can imagine: people are complex, riddled with flaws and deep desires, desperately seeking to be understood. Practice these 8 relationship dos and don'ts to fortifyyour romance with harmony, stability, and joy:
　　作为一位从业逾25年的心理学家和情感咨询师，从经验出发，我会说：爱的艺术要比我们想象得更高深。人是很复杂的，有令人迷惑的缺点和深层次的渴望，而且非常希望能被别人理解。你可以在情感关系中试试以下8件“一定要”和“一定不要”做的事，让你们的爱情关系更加和谐、稳定、愉悦。

　　Do develop emotional intimacy: Emotional intimacy is knowing what your partner needs before they even get a chance to ask. It is picking up on their feelings as if they were your own. Develop a sense of emotional intimacy by being honest with your partner and sensitive to their needs.
　　一定要建立情感亲密。情感亲密就是知晓伴侣所需，甚至在他们开口之前你就已经知道了。你要关注他们的感觉，就像关注自己的感觉一样。要建立一种情感上的亲密感，你需要和你的伴侣坦诚相待，并敏感地感知他们的需求。

　　Do plan a life together: Our plans may not always work out, but envisioning a future with our partner inspires us to take the right steps towards manifesting our long-term goals. Talk about the years ahead and form a strategy to achieve the things you want together: a home, a family, investments, etc.
　　一定要一起规划人生。我们的规划不一定会实现，但是和伴侣一起憧憬未来可以激励我们沿着正确的方向朝着长期目标大步迈进。你们可以谈谈未来几年的事，达成一致策略，以实现共同目标：如房屋计划、家庭计划、投资计划等等。

　　Do bring them comfort: Your partner wants to come home to love, not to a headache. Make your home a place that always reels your partner back because they feel safe, stable, and nurtured. Don't start talking about your problems as soon as your partner walks through the door.
　　一定要让他们感到舒适。你的伴侣希望回家能感受到爱，而不是一回去就头疼。把你的家打造成一个伴侣心之所系之处，让他们感觉安全、稳定、受到关爱。不要伴侣一走进家门，你就开始倾诉自己遇到的问题。

　　Do act in the right time: Time can be your biggest enemy or your best friend. The wisdom is to recognize when you should act versus when you should wait. Don't obligate your partner to do things in a certain amount of time.
　　一定要在合适的时间做合适的事。时间可以是你最大的敌人，也可以是你最好的朋友。关键是你要用智慧分辨出什么时候应该有所行动、什么时候应该耐心等待。一定不要强迫你的伴侣在限定的时间内做什么事。